


Journal of a Conflicted Prince

by SomeFicOnTheInternet



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Chrom is Azur | Inigo's Parent, Frederick is Serena | Severa's Parent, Gen, Laslows POV, My Unit | Reflet | Robin is Owain's Parent, Not Beta Read, POV First Person, Prince Inigo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26042851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeFicOnTheInternet/pseuds/SomeFicOnTheInternet
Summary: A journal entry written by Laslow about his life to help sort out his thoughts before he makes an imortant desision.Stay or go?---This was part of a larger story that I took down due to lack of motivation. The entry was read by Xander if you want to imagine his reaction.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Journal of a Conflicted Prince

When I was a child I was incredibly shy. I saw the world from behind my mother's leg and used it as a shield from those who should glance my way. That was fine when I was younger. My mother would teach me all she knew, about the world, the people in it and the gods above it. Most important to me though, she taught me to dance. Though I will never live up to her talents, she was an important role model. So was my father, but he had different expectations for me. He would tell me that one day I would grow up to take his place if my sister could not. That despite being in a time of peace, I had to be ready to be on the throne should the worst happen. He taught me how to use a sword, as well as use my head, for both battle and diplomacy. 

When I would whisper to my mother late at night about how I did not want to be a crown prince she would tell me that it was okay. In times of peace, I could be whoever I so pleased. I held on to that thought as I grew older. Hoping my father would one day cast aside his disappointment in me as I became my own man. Sadly, times of peace do not last forever. 

A war from before I was born had set off a chain of events that would lead to catastrophe among my people and land. The fighting started anew and sides and allies were chosen. Little did my father know, the very thing he was trying to stop was a valued member of his army. So he was killed in the night by his best friend and my own uncle, Robin, who then disappeared to gain followers of his own. 

After that my mother had less time to shelter me, she worked tirelessly to rally together the people as my sister, cousins and I trained. My sister inherited my father's blade and I was quickly falling behind her in matters of skill. Lucina advanced her technique at an incredible rate, one I tried my hardest to keep up with. Yet every day after we finished training I would be given the same lecture; “You need to try harder, what would father think if he knew you wasted your life on dancing instead of saving our people?” I would try my hardest to laugh it off and move on, but one day I was truly awoken to the harsh reality of how weak I was. 

After negotiation with new allies mother, Lucina, aunt Lissa and my cousins Owain and Morgan, alongside myself were headed back to the shepherd's barracks, when we were attacked. Outnumbered by Risen, it is truly a miracle any of us survived, but my mother did not. She perished in front of me, my incompetence as a fighter causing me to lose my mother and force my sister to step up to the throne at a much younger age than she should have. It was not long until most of the shepherds were gone as well. I had never put so much time and energy into training as I had after that. My family was being taken away from me one by one, I wouldn't let my sister be next. But despite our best efforts, time was running out for us. The Fell Dragon, the size of a country flew high up in the skies of Yilesse. Luckily, plans were put in place so that we could fix everything, and soon enough Laurent, a well-trusted mage, was the first to go back. Back in time to change the outcome of these horrid events.

Day and night we fought to keep the Fell Dragon at bay while we waited for a sign or signal from him. We never got one, but things got to the point where we could either take the chance of not making the journey back or die at the hands of our worst enemy. So we all went. All of the second generation of Shepherds. Lucina, Owain, Morgan, Gerome, Brady, Yarne, Severa, Kjelle, Cynthia, Noire, Nah and I all left together, Laurent having left already. Luckily for us, not much went terribly wrong. Sadly, Morgan had lost his memory after the trip, and we were all separated during it, but we had all made it. 

I had wound up near a small village and quickly realized that no one was aware of my past, or my lineage. They simply saw me as a brave swordsman that knew how to take down the new threat of Risen. I will admit, I used this to my advantage. Due to the constant praise from the villagers, I was flustered constantly, causing me to fall back on tactics I used to get over my shy demeanour from my childhood. I was then known as a man who had flirted with every woman in the village. Despite my ladies man exterior, I was still a skilled warrior. To protect the people I was with, I trained them to fight and fended off Risen and bandits. 

One day a fort was set up nearby, so of course, I went to attempt to bring them down. Though when I arrived I saw a face that I had many doubts of seeing again, my mother. The Shepherds had also arrived to take down the fort. That was the first time I was filled with hope in many years. After much embarrassing stuttering, I managed to communicate that I was their son. With such a ludicrous story I doubted they would believe me, but Lucina had already found them and explained everything. Well, everything except the fact they also had a son. As excited I was to be with my family once more, I knew I had become the childish disgrace my father had died knowing. I had no doubt that this version of my father would be just as disappointed in me, but habits are hard to break. 

I joined the army and mother and I grew close once more through song and dance, yet father only compared me to my sister's high standards of skill. I truly felt as though I was a child again. Even so, it took a week or so before I finally snapped at him for it. 

I was injured after a battle defending our camp from Risen, I had twisted my foot and it was as painful as Grimas fire to walk on, so I sat in the field. Of course, my father had to notice. He came over, at first angry, once he saw I was injured and lying about it he seemed concerned. Despite his worry, the conversation evolved into an argument. So I told him about his spirit crippling standards for me when I was a child, and I told him about how I hide behind the mask of a fearless ladies man. I told him I had been through hell and back, then I got up and went to camp, injury and all. 

After that, we grew closer. In fact, I grew closer with every member of the Shepherds. As we located more of the second generation everyone made friendships and bonds that would last through thick and thin. Those friendships would prove to be important as we discovered something truly terrifying. 

The Fell Dragon was done devouring everything from our time and had followed us back. That was when we discovered that he was my uncle. The emotional bonds we had with him in this timeline had stopped him from becoming Grima and killing my father in this new version of the past, but that did not matter, as the old Grima had come to take his place. It was not long until he took to the sky, ready to destroy everything we had worked so hard to save. We were faced with two choices, my father could slay The Fell Dragon and keep him dormant for thousands of years, as the hero-king Marth had done in the past; or my uncle could sacrifice himself and kill The Fell Dragon for the rest of time.

After heartfelt goodbyes, there was no choice, uncle Robin sacrificed himself for the sake of the land. Just like that, it was all over. We had peace. I could be whoever I pleased in times of peace but, as stated earlier, peace does not last. 

I was with Owain and Severa when we were approached by a man in a heavy cloak and hood. He introduced himself as the last sane part of Anankos, a God from another world. He claimed he needed help from heroes to defeat the part of him that wanted to destroy the lands in his world. In return, he would use the last of his power to grant us a wish. After some consulting, we agreed and had nature in our original time restored. Anankos then changed our appearances, gave us aliases, he even gifted us his blood so we could activate dragon veins. As if Owain, now Odin, needed the blood of three different Gods running through him. We then arrived in Nohr. The thing we decided right away was that it was important to join the army. It was actually the idea of Severa, now Selena, to apply for positions as retainers. It made sense, her father served mine faithfully and was told everything. 

Fighting the crown prince of Nohr for a role as his retainer was a daunting task, but he was slow and he underestimated me in the beginning, so I had a fair chance. In the end, I lost but was still hired. Odin and Selena also both were hired by Lord Leo and Lady Camilla respectively. 

Working for Lord Xander was a challenge, to say the least. Not only was adjusting going from royalty to retainer, Putting it lightly, Lord Xander was always angry. Angry, strict, and a lot like my father. I could understand why though, being the crown prince in a time of war is no easy task, not that I could let him know I understood. 

It wasn't long before the people in Nohr and the opposing land of Hoshido were slowly brought together. Corrin, sibling of both royal families, started to bring people together. After Lord Xander witnessed a break down by King Garon he announced he was joining their army as well. He gave both his retainers, Peri and I, the option to go with or stay. As Corrin celebrated getting all their siblings together, Odin Selena and I caught up for the first time in a long time. 

Once we banded with Corrin's army, I started bonding with Norhians and Hoshidans. I had friends and allies, just like with the Shepherds, and they came in handy when we finally made it the fight with Anankos. It wasn't like most battles I have fought in Nohr before, with just Peri, maybe Lord Xander, watching my back if I was lucky. This was more like the Shepherds. A solid family of sorts, working as one unit to fight something bigger than any of us individually. We all trusted each other and had each other's backs through the battle. I suppose we technically still do.

Lord Xanders coronation was last month. He was stiff, serious and stressed, but I could tell he was happy. At least somewhat. He wants what is best for everyone, he is the king Nohr needs for that to happen. Peace treaties were signed last week, things have changed for the better here, but I feel lost. Through the deal with Anankos I have brought peace to my time, then alongside my family, I brought peace to Yilesse, now I have helped to bring peace here. 

The question is; What now? Where do I belong? Am I a retainer or a royal? Odin told me writing down my thoughts on the subject would help me sort them out, but now I feel more confused and conflicted. Odin and Selena promised neither of them would leave until I decide, honestly, I doubt they have decided either.

What am I supposed to do?

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time this was part of a larger story, maybe if this does well I'll post other parts from it, or maybe post a general outline or something Idk.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hoped you liked it :)


End file.
